I miss old horror movies. They don’t make them the same anymore. It’s the same thing, time and again. The horror movie industry does two things that drive me crazy.

First, they run franchises into the ground. Last October, my wife and I watched Friday the 13th. With how bad the series has gotten, I forgot that the first one is intense. What typically happens with horror franchises is that the first one does well in the box office, so they make another. Okay, that’s cool. They set up the end of the first movie for a sequel. Then the sequel does well. So another and another and another gets made, until the movies are no longer scary. The franchise is worn out, and the movie makers have squeezed every cent out of their fan base.

The second thing that drives me nuts is that horror movies are no longer scary. In the filmmakers’ rush to dump out the next horror movie, they forget to make it scary. Modern horror, or as my friends Steve calls it, “Torture Porn,” is the worst kind of horror movie. These movies have no plot and try to be as violent as possible.

I think that both of these issues boil down to the fact that people don’t really want to be scared. They want a quick jolt and sweet dreams that evening. Maybe I’m weird, but if I go to a scary movie I want to be scared. If I want blood and guts, I’ll go watch Saving Private Ryan.

My Top 5 Horror Movies
5. Seven (This was a horror/thriller, but it’s so good I had to put it on.)
4. Friday The 13th
3. Alien
2. Psycho
1. Pearl Harbor (I still have nightmares because this movie is so bad.)

Seriously, 1. The Exorcist.